Interior Designer Jennifer Salvemini On Romance & Long Distance Relationships

Long-distance relationships may come with their challenges, but when balance is achieved, couples can thrive—yes, even with that added time and space apart. For entrepreneurs like Jennifer Salvemini, a Shokan-based interior designer, the time away from her long-distance beau, Jay DeVoe, has taught her that deeper connection is key—both with her partner when they’re together and with how she prioritizes her solo time. We asked her for insight into how they find balance, spend their time upstate and what advice she’d give to others seeking a deeper connection. We hope you enjoy the next inn our on-going series, “LOVE in the Valley.”

How did you meet and how long have you been together?

We met on the internet like many post-modern humans! I was on a dating app and had my location set to the local area, but the upstate pool was running a little dry for my age bracket, so I expanded my radius to include the NY Metro area and we connected. We made it official after a few weeks and have been together for nine months.

How much distance is between you?

I’m in Shokan and he lives in Jersey City. It’s funny; I’m originally from Jersey and after moving to the Hudson Valley after 20 years in Brooklyn, I landed a Jersey boy at the end of the day.

What do you both do for work?

He’s a marketing analyst for the restaurant industry and I’m an interior designer, doing mostly residential in the Hudson Valley, but hoping to start expanding into commercial. I’m also the executive director of Kingston Design Connection and a founding member of Hinterland, a design studio and collective for female-identifying artists and makers.

How do you balance being an entrepreneur, leading organizations and maintaining a connection across the miles?

Most of our time together is during weekends. Spending full weekends together has worked well for us, allowing us to get to know each other deeply at an accelerated rate. And most of the time, we’re upstate. We have a routine of brunching at Woodnotes Grille at The Emerson, hitting the Phoenicia Farmer’s Market, or just bopping around, exploring our local small towns, usually finding all these fun parties to go to.

What’s your ideal upstate date?

Our third date was at Skate Time for a roller disco night, which was fun. There are so many new restaurants that I would love to try, especially some new ones in Kingston I would like to check out. The vibe in Kingston is a great reason to get out of the sticks every now and then. We had one really sweet date afternoon in Woodstock—we caught the Woodstock Symphony matinee at the Woodstock Playhouse, then got dinner at Good Night. It’s cool because you can have this fancy Sunday evening in just a 15-minute drive while still wearing your Wellies. The music was great—the Playhouse had sweet, beautiful vibes and Good Night was a super sexy restaurant. We also love The Pines; we might pop in at least two times a month for a drink and music. It’s probably my favorite spot.

How do you maintain connection during days when you’re physically apart?

We’re both really avid info- and experience-sharers, so we’ll reach out throughout the day, sharing articles, songs, photos and just sweet drop-ins throughout the day.

Do weekends together interfere with your busy careers?

For me, having weekends dedicated to personal time was a very new concept. As an entrepreneur, it’s easy to work 24 hours a day, every day. But especially with us being long-distance, it became clear that I needed to set aside personal time. And sure, something small like a text from a client might get squeezed in. Still, I’m grateful to the relationship for sort of forcing me to prioritize personal time.

And it helps that we’re both adventurous people who are kind of up for anything—a new restaurant, a road trip, experimenting with cooking at home—whatever one of us suggests, the other is usually game. So when we are together, we’re making everything fun. There’s a lot of play involved with how we engage with each other.

What advice would you give to couples seeking to deepen their connection?

I think that truly accepting the person for who they are—their quirks, humor, and all— and allowing space for that person to truly be their unique self is so important. Those are the traits that make people lovable; these quirks and things are special and so unique to each person and if you let them feel like they can express themselves without judgment, hopefully, they’ll reciprocate. You can freely be your own weirdo self.

Any advice for singles out there?

I was single for a while. The best thing you can do is find your own joy during that time. Do things that make you happy. It feels daunting sometimes, especially online dating, which can be tedious. But put it aside as often as needed. If you’re out there enjoying yourself and not fixating on this one aspect of your life, you’ll probably end up attracting someone who appreciates you because they’ll see you in a better headspace, living your life. And two, if you’re on the apps, expand your radius! You never know.

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