Love in the Valley: Robert Burke Warren + Holly George-Warren

Passion and the arts go hand-in-hand, and when love is thrown into the mix, a type of magic can occur. Love is often easier to attain than maintain, but just as the creative process requires time, dedication, and effort, so does long-lasting romance.

For our next “Love in the Valley” story, we couldn’t think of a better pair to share their thoughts on nurturing long-road togetherness while pursuing successful creative careers than Phoenicia residents Holly George-Warren and Robert Burke Warren, who will soon reach their 35th wedding anniversary in May.

Holly is an author, editor, and music journalist whose work includes biographies of musicians Janis Joplin (2019), Alex Chilton (2014), Gene Autry (2007), and most recently, Dolly Parton (2023)—the latter of which, entitled Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones, was on The New York Times best-seller list for 11 weeks.

“I’m currently finishing a monograph on Jerry Jeff Walker and the 50th anniversary of his groundbreaking album, Viva Terlingua, and I’m working on a biography of Jack Kerouac to be published by Viking Press,” she says.

Robert works as a writer, teacher, musician, and performer; his recent projects range from editing Cash on Cash: Interviews & Encounters with Johnny Cash (2022) to musical performances like his annual David Bowie birthday tribute, which took place earlier this year at The Colony in Woodstock and City Winery NYC. “I’m currently working on my second novel and prepping for a birthday gig—Saturday, March 30 at The Local—at which I will perform original songs and stories,” he says.

In the following interview, Holly and Robert tell their story and offer some advice for those aiming for a shared life of intentional love.

INSIDE+OUT Upstate NY: How long have you been together? And how long have you been married?

RBW: We’ve been together almost 37 years, since autumn 1987. We will be married for 35 years on May 6, 2024.

How and when did you meet?

RBW: We met at an East Village Christmas party in 1986, but I was on a date. I was 21 and instantly intensely attracted to Holly, even if—or maybe because—she scared me a little bit. She radiated fierceness. Sexy goth-cowgirl, unlike anything I’d ever seen. Kohl-lined eyes took up half her face. I’d never seen eyes that color. (I still haven’t. I coined the term “autumn-colored.”) Her hair was Manic Panic’s “Taillight Red,” teased up to add a couple extra inches to her height. The belle of the ball. Unforgettable. We would cross paths a few more times, admiring one another from afar, but we finally connected in the autumn of 1987 when her all-girl punk rock polka band Das Furlines opened for my garage rock band The Fleshtones, at The Jag in East Hampton, Long Island. I was the bassist in The Fleshtones; she played a 1959 Fender Jazzmaster guitar in Das Furlines. The club promised to feed both bands BBQ chicken if we arrived early. Free food! But that also meant several hours between BBQ and performance time. I was engrossed in The Vampire Lestat and sequestered myself in a corner to pass the time with my book. Holly was a big Anne Rice fan, and she came over to tell me how much she loved what I was reading. I was more than happy to talk to her about it. We talked effortlessly for hours about everything, making lots of eye contact. Those eyes. (And, if I’m honest, that body.) I would learn she worked as an editor for American Baby magazine by day and had writerly ambitions. She’d written for a lot of fanzines. We bonded on all of that, plus, of course, mutual physical attraction. I finally got to hear her laugh.

When it was time to play, I watched her intently from the shadows. I shouted into The Fleshtones’ roadie’s ear: “I think I’m falling in love with the guitar player!” After Das Furlines, my band did our usual marathon set. Then, post-gig, the Fleshtones and Das Furlines are in the parking lot, spent and sweaty, packing our gear into our respective vans. It’s the wee small hours of the morning. Holly and I are standing across from one another, unsure how, exactly, to say goodbye. Shake hands? Hug? Kiss? In a flash, I had the answer: Like a character from an Anne Rice novel, I bit her neck, which made her convulse a little. I said, “See ya later,” and jumped in the van, her sweat on my lips.

Within days, she and some bandmates happened to show up at King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut to visit me on my one bartending shift. Within two weeks, I’d broken up with my Parisian girlfriend, and, after Holly drove me in her 1968 Impala to Sylvia’s in Harlem for soul food, then to the Cloisters to walk around and talk more, we… made it official.

HGW: I was instantly attracted to Robert the minute I laid eyes on him onstage and at a Christmas party. I was thrilled when I saw him again at Mardi Gras in 1987, where he played with the Fleshtones. Even stopping to say hello at Astor Place in the East Village gave me a thrill. After that Labor Day Weekend gig in East Hampton, I finally got my clutches on him. The first night we hung out on Avenue A, we went to the Pyramid Club, and he introduced me to his former bandmate RuPaul. That meeting was actually captured on video and can be seen on YouTube! We both wore our motorcycle jackets with Mardi Gras beads dangling from the epaulets. Right after our first date, Robert invited me to go to Atlanta with him to meet his family. About a month later, after he lost his sublet, we shacked up at my apartment on St. Mark’s Place. We’ve been together ever since.

When did you realize that the other was The One?

RBW: Touring with The Fleshtones in Spain in the spring of ’88, I looked around and thought: “I am living my rock and roll dream, making a meager living playing in a band, seeing the world, and yet… I can’t stop thinking about this girl.” All I wanted to do was be with her all the time. We both had big dreams and in her presence, I felt all mine—and all hers—were possible. She wanted to write biographies and I wanted to front my own band. I bought an expensive bottle of red wine in Paris and brought it back to NYC. On the evening of May 31, 1988, I suggested we drink it beneath a blue moon in nearby Tompkins Square Park over a bucket of KFC. While we did that, I proposed.

HGW: When he drove all over Atlanta to find me the perfect sweet tea; when he waited in line beginning at dawn outside the Beacon Theater to buy us (amazingly good) tickets to see Van Morrison; when he proposed to me with exquisite red wine (and a bucket of KFC) in Tompkins Square Park; when he booked us a room at the Essex House for my birthday…the list goes on and on…

What are three adjectives you’d use to describe your partnership?

RBW: Passionate, forgiving, intriguing.
HGW: Supportive, romantic, empathetic.

With having busy careers/lifestyles, how do you maintain connection within your relationship?

RBW: Full-attention listening, taking on difficult conversations, owning mistakes, giving and taking space, and striving to understand what is real and what is just a story. (This often requires professional help.) Accepting it’s a process and frequently unromantic. Also, celebrating both the small and the big things, even when—especially when—it’s inconvenient.

HGW: Having dinner together whenever possible; immediately telling each other about happy or sad things that happen; comparing notes on everything; making time for a walk, a hug, a smooch…

With both being/having been in the publishing and music industries, do you incorporate one another’s work into your lifestyle—as in, bouncing ideas off one another, asking for input etc.—or do you try to maintain separation?

RBW: We almost always bounce stuff off each other and edit each other’s work. We’re both better writers because of each other.

HGW: For my book projects, I absolutely depend on and appreciate Robert’s feedback, suggestions, and editing; when he’s ready for me to read his work, I love reading his writing and passing along my feedback/suggestions. And, of course, I love seeing Robert perform; after every gig, he asks me which song I liked the best.

What are some of your favorite upstate activities, events, or places to go together?

RBW: We love seeing movies together at Upstate Films; we love occasionally splurging at local restaurants like Peekamoose, The Shandaken Inn and Silvia; we love the Woodstock Halloween Parade and Santa’s Christmas Eve arrival on the Green. You will see us at the Woodstock Film Festival and the Woodstock Bookfest and walking along our country road in Phoenicia.

HGW: All of the above, plus seeing live music together at the Colony, UPAC, the Bardavon, Bearsville Theater and The Local. Attending performances at the Phoenicia Playhouse. Taking our out-of-town friends to the Phoenicia Diner. In the early days, we enjoyed going to yard sales and flea markets together, but now we have way too much stuff

Do you have any favorite date night spots?

RBW: The Shandaken Inn, Peekamoose, The Red Onion, our wraparound porch.
HGW: Agree. Plus take-out from Bistro-to-Go eaten on our TV trays while watching Turner Classic Movies….

What advice would you give to folks who are seeking a deep connection with a long-term partner?

RBW: Forgiveness is a road, not a destination. Be mindful of the stories you tell and how you tell them.

HGW: Keep that spark burning; forgive and forget; call each other by your own special pet name; and laugh together whenever possible.

Is there anything that I haven’t asked that you would like to share with readers on the topic of love and connection in long-term partnerships?

RBW: Nope. I’ve already said way too much.

HGW: Don’t ever forget that essence—as in the Lucinda Williams song-title sense.

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Connect  with Holly George-Warren : Website | IMDB | Read about her Books Here

Connect with Robert Burke Warren: Website | Bandcamp | Instagram @therealrbw

Join the party as Robert Celebrates his Birthday at The Local in Saurgerties NY on March 30th – Get tickets here